August 2, 2009

Resilience: Power Tool for Caregivers of Children with Autistic Spectrum Disorder


By Gilvic Carmona-De Jesus, Counseling Psychologist & APA Member


In recent days I treated a mother of a four year old child that had been diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (PDD-NOS). She spoke about how her life had suddenly changed and that in occasions she felt that life was unfair. She recalls how, as all mother’s do, she hoped her child would grow up to be an independent adult able to achieve a career and get married and have children of his own. But because of this diagnosis, she feared this would not be a possibility for him. She ended expressing that “however, even when at times it’s been difficult to accept my child is autistic, I know that with my love and the help of a specialist in the area my son will have the best life possible”.
Autism is a multidimensional pervasive disorder that disrupts children’s interpersonal relationship, and the ability to express their needs, communicate their feelings and desires and their capacity to learn in the traditional way. This disorder is usually associated to childhood; however, it will affect their interactions with others throughout their whole life. There is an array of characteristics associated with autism and every child diagnosed may possess different traits and still be diagnosed with the same disorder. For example, a child diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome may present mild autism signs compared with one diagnosed with Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. The Center of Disease Control and Prevention estimates autism is the third most common childhood disorder, following mental retardation and other cerebral related disorder. The World Health Organization states that autism frequently manifests during the first three years of an infant’s life.
The most common characteristics manifested by autistic children are: impaired social skills, problems with their verbal and non verbal communication, and difficulty expressing their needs. Other symptoms associated to this condition are difficulty understanding other people’s feelings and impairment to recognize universal social gestures; some children avoid physical approach like, sibling or family hugs and other people’s touch. These characteristics of autism, while common, are very difficult for parents to accept.
When a child is diagnosed with autism it is a very emotional and stressful moment in their parent’s life. This stressor acts in some parents as a tool that helps them raise to the occasion from which they raise to the occasion and become resilient parents. They turn what others would take as a “why me?” moment into one of “I can and I will”. This positive attitude helps them recover quickly from this difficult situation and immediately look for ways to help their child. Being resilient is a powerful tool that helps people manage what otherwise would be a life shattering moment. Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. It has to do with shaping behavior, thoughts, and attitudes which can be learned and developed by anyone. Resilient people view reality in a creative manner and have a positive attitude in solving problems and making decisions. Here are a couple of tools that can help you develop a resilient attitude:
• Engage in brainstorming and develop a list of your assets and strengths.
• Identify a few past experiences in which you prevailed and think about what you did you solve them.
• Connect with people which provide psychological help, social and spiritual support and strengthen resilience.
• Establish relationship. Find support from your family, neighbors and support groups. Be willing to accept help from others. Express your emotions without fear, guilt or shame.
• Take time to share experiences that can help other parents with the same situation.
• Take care of your health, have a healthy diet, occasionally exercise, engage in activities that you enjoy and sleep well. Remember your child needs healthy and full of energy parents.
Finally, accept that it is a challenge and a blessing raising a child with autistic disorder. However, don’t forget that you're not alone and that early identification, diagnosis and intervention for this neurodevelopment condition is key in order to promote your child progress and keep coping with autism. Never miss the expectation, because your child could go very far despite its pervasive developmental disorder. Good luck and remember. You are Resilient!

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